How It’s Made, the Science channel program that shows viewers how everyday, ordinary objects are made, has moved into my apartment. It’s been challenging.
Good morning, buddy. How are you feeling? Boy, you got in late last night! What were you doing?
Beer. Aircraft landing gear. Jaws of Life.
Huh…well, not that you asked, but I actually have a date on Saturday.
Dog food. False teeth. Forensic facial reconstruction.
Screw you, man. She’s nice! I’m just trying to figure out what we should do.
Breath mints. Spurs. Condoms.
No…no, that’s too much for a first date. I want to do something fun, but laid-back.
Mayonnaise. Traditional razor blades. Fire fighter boots.
Jesus, what is wrong with you?! Forget it, I’ll figure something out. Oh, and I hate to ask but I was wondering if I could borrow your car? I don’t want to be the loser who shows up in his mom’s car for a date.
Treadmills. Pork pies. Metal caskets.
Damn it, How It’s Made! I told you my mom has a thyroid problem! Her weight isn’t her fault. That is NOT cool.
Traditional Mexican chairs.
It’s ok. But you’ve got to stop ragging on my Mom, dude. And by the way, I need a check for this month’s rent.
Fireworks. Slot machines. Police badges.
You can’t pay the rent?! What the fuck, man? Where is your money going?
Robotic arms. Fish farming. Hypodermic needles. Miniature houses.
That’s it. How It’s Made, I don’t think this is going to work. One of us has to move out.
Concrete pipes. Silver cutlery. Heated skate blades. AMBULANCES.
Don’t threaten me, asshole! You’ve got one week to find a new place. Then I don’t want to hear from you again.
No. I am not going to give in this time.
Damn it! I do want to know how they make latex swords.
Fine! Fine, you can stay. But this is your last chance, I swear. Now, I’ve got to go to work. Need anything from the store on my way home?
Peanut butter. Fine porcelain. Escalator handrails.
I’ll see what I can do.