A Conversation With My Roommate, The TV Show “How It’s Made”

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How It’s Made, the Science channel program that shows viewers how everyday, ordinary objects are made, has moved into my apartment. It’s been challenging.

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Good morning, buddy. How are you feeling? Boy, you got in late last night! What were you doing?

 

Beer. Aircraft landing gear. Jaws of Life.

 

Huh…well, not that you asked, but I actually have a date on Saturday.

 

Dog food. False teeth. Forensic facial reconstruction.

 

Screw you, man. She’s nice! I’m just trying to figure out what we should do.

 

Breath mints. Spurs. Condoms.

 

No…no, that’s too much for a first date. I want to do something fun, but laid-back.

 

Mayonnaise. Traditional razor blades. Fire fighter boots.

 

Jesus, what is wrong with you?! Forget it, I’ll figure something out. Oh, and I hate to ask but I was wondering if I could borrow your car? I don’t want to be the loser who shows up in his mom’s car for a date.

 

Treadmills. Pork pies. Metal caskets.

 

Damn it, How It’s Made! I told you my mom has a thyroid problem! Her weight isn’t her fault. That is NOT cool.

 

Traditional Mexican chairs.

 

It’s ok. But you’ve got to stop ragging on my Mom, dude. And by the way, I need a check for this month’s rent.

 

Fireworks. Slot machines. Police badges.

 

You can’t pay the rent?! What the fuck, man? Where is your money going?

 

Robotic arms. Fish farming. Hypodermic needles. Miniature houses.

 

That’s it. How It’s Made, I don’t think this is going to work. One of us has to move out.

 

Concrete pipes. Silver cutlery. Heated skate blades. AMBULANCES.

 

Don’t threaten me, asshole! You’ve got one week to find a new place. Then I don’t want to hear from you again.

 

French horns.

 

Stop it.

 

Cheese graters.

 

No. I am not going to give in this time.

 

Latex swords.

 

Damn it! I do want to know how they make latex swords.

 

Slippers…

 

Fine! Fine, you can stay. But this is your last chance, I swear. Now, I’ve got to go to work. Need anything from the store on my way home?

 

Peanut butter. Fine porcelain. Escalator handrails.

 

I’ll see what I can do.

 

Author: Meredith Bland

Meredith likes to write the funny at her blog, Pile of Babies (http://www.pileofbabies.com).

6 Comments

  1. My boyfriend and I were trying to figure out how they put the segments together…I mean, an episode about Jukeboxes, Matches, and Gas Masks is the epitome of random.

    Our theory is thusly. How It’s Made has an entire warehouse of video segments on how things are made…they also have a large cork-board room covered in pieces of paper with the titles of the segments. They pick a guy, blindfold him, spin him in 5 circles, and let him throw three darts. Where the darts land…viola! How It’s Made! Due to this theory, I want that job.

    Also, we marvel at the ease that it takes to make everything. “Just snap the front and back together and you have a jet fighter plane.” From ground up steel and aluminum to a war aircraft in 15 minutes, just as easy as that.
    Elayna recently posted..End of the World?My Profile

  2. You suppose they use a robotic arm to craft that robot arm?
    Tahlia B. recently posted..Diamond Candles $4,500 Ring GiveawayMy Profile

  3. FYI, It’s Canadian (made by a Canadian production company and distributed world wide), so I think you should add some eh!’s in there.
    MegG recently posted..My San Francisco Bucket ListMy Profile

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