Car-versations: Native Americans and Katy Perry

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We were driving to the Children’s Museum, when we pulled up behind a Mayflower moving van. The following was all one conversation, and it all went exactly like this.

Meg: “Mom, what does M-A-Y-F-L-O-W-E-R spell?”

Me: “MAYFLOWER.”

Meg: “What is that Mayflower?”

Me: “Well, the Mayflower was a ship that brought the first people from England over to this country.”

Meg: “And was there no one in this whole entire land before then?!”

Me: “Well, no. There were Indians living here, and it was their country. But then one day the English just kind of ran into the land and they said, ‘Hey, we want to live here, too!’ and they took the land away from the Indians.”

Meg: “You mean they stoled it?!”

Me: “Yup. They stoled it.”

Meg: “THAT WAS NOT NICE!”

Me: “No, it wasn’t.”

Ben: “You know what I think? I think they should have shared.”

Me: “I agree. That probably would have been the best option.”

Ben: “Or you know what else? They should have bought a big house and then they could have lived on the very highest top floor, and the Indians could have had the rest.”

Native American name: Run With Boobs (image via Splash Media)

Native American name: Dances With Boobs (image via Splash Media)

Me: “That’s another super good idea.”

Meg: “Mom? Can we say Katy Perry is a Native American?”

Me: “…What?”

Meg: “Let’s just say Katy Perry is a Native American girl.”

Me: “No. No, we can’t say that. Katy Perry is American, but she is not a Native American.”

Meg: “Well, let’s just say that.”

Me: “No, let’s not.”

Meg: “What about that ant band?”

Me: “Oh my god what are you talking about.”

Meg: “The ant band, and some of them are dead?”

Me: “Are you talking about The Beatles?”

Meg: “Yeah! The Beatles! Which of The Beatles are not dead?”

Me: “Uh…I’m pretty sure that Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr are still alive.”

Meg: “Let’s say that Paul McCartney is a girl.”

Me: “What? No! We can’t just say that!”

Meg: “But let’s just do that.”

Me: “Oh my gosh, fine. Maybe Native American Katy Perry can duet with female Paul McCartney some day.”

Meg: “Yeah!”

I swear to god, people. Sometimes talking to a five-year-old is like having that crazy guy at the bus stop start a conversation with you and you keep talking to him even though nothing makes any sense because you have nowhere to go because you need to wait for that damn bus and you’re also you’re worried that if you stop he might stab you.

Author: Meredith Bland

Meredith likes to write the funny at her blog, Pile of Babies (http://www.pileofbabies.com).

3 Comments

  1. Oh my lord, this is motherhood right here. Conversations with tiny crazy people.
    When I Blink recently posted..Can’t Repeat the Past? Why, Of Course You Can… With a Badass Theme PartyMy Profile

  2. Seriously, I love car-versations and what if’s. And that last paragraph totally sums up how I feel every day on the way home from school. Hint: Mine’s six. So next year’s not looking good for ya, kid ;)
    Mary recently posted..Sidetrack Sally, Suffering and SacrificingMy Profile

  3. LOVE it. You and your kid = Super Funny. Thank you :) And I think this was a great teaching moment, too. BTW.
    RoiAnn recently posted..Wintry BranchesMy Profile

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