Dear Aiming Low — I want you to want me.

| 13 Comments

Do it for Ronaldo, the squirrel who does my bidding. He’s real, and he can get past airport security.

Today, people, we are taking a break from my regular posting so that I can grovel. I mean, get on my hands and knees and lick the pavement before your feet kind of grovel. I am asking Aiming Low (that’s what the future academic scholarship dedicated to my memory will be called) to send me to their Non-Conference in Georgia next month.

To be considered, I need to write a blog post telling them why they should pick me.

1. We are soul sisters.

Just trust me on this. I read almost everything on your site, and I felt a deep, groin stirring connection. For example — I bet you’ve wondered how to protect yourself from cat attacks, right? Well guess what? DONE.

2. I have never been to a blogging conference.

Yeah. For realises. And what better way to start than with your “perfectly mediocre non-conference”? Also, the last conference I went to was for my old job working at a hospital. We went to Philadelphia and I had a panic attack on a tour bus in front of a cheesesteak stand. So, I could really use a palate cleanser.

3. Your non-conference looks yes-amazing.

I know a lot of your roundtable leaders — in the sense that I read their stuff a lot — and would love to awkwardly meet them. The panel topics look fantastic, and I know next-to-nothing about branding. I would really like to get more deeply into the blogging world and learn its secret handshakes. And seriously, getting to learn from the folks at this conference would be amazing. And also please help me.

4. I have never been to Georgia!

Well, I have been to their spectacularly large airport. But I hear Georgia is lovely in October……….?

5. I will buy every single one of you a puppy.

Don’t ask me where they came from, and never EVER touch them with a bare hand. Just close your eyes, put on your mittens, and take your puppy.

6. Here’s a little bit more about me:

I have been blogging here at Pile of Babies since 2008, but only seriously since last November. Writing nonsense is the most fun I have ever had. I am a stay-at-home Mom/freelance writer who lives in Seattle. I have no fingers on my right hand and an extreme fear of heights, which makes me the last person picked for any rock climbing trip. I have 4-year-old twins who are lucky they are adorable.

Thanks for your consideration!

(PSSSSSST — People. Cross your fingers for me. You have no idea how many toxic puppies I have. I will hand them out — with tongs — like candy.)

Author: Meredith Bland

Meredith likes to write the funny at her blog, Pile of Babies (http://www.pileofbabies.com).

13 Comments

  1. How could they not pick you? Toxic puppies … seriously who would pass that up!
    Missi at havoc-to-heaven.com recently posted..Fall/Back to School TablescapeMy Profile

  2. I grew up in Georgia. October is the only month it’s nice, so you’ll be in good shape. And the entire Atlanta airport smells like fried chicken, so be prepared for that.
    Jeff recently posted..Daddy on Duty: Home Alone with the Kids, Part IVMy Profile

  3. Yes! I hope you win. Can I crash your hotel room?
    Guerrilla Mom recently posted..This is a big deal.My Profile

  4. I’d vote for you. Oh, and Guerrilla Mom, of course!

  5. Thanks, Cathy!!!! I won’t find out till the 21st, so keep those good vibes coming!
    admin recently posted..Dear Aiming Low — I want you to want me.My Profile

  6. hahaha!! I love it! Funny stuff!
    Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom recently posted..Aiming High For Aiming LowMy Profile

  7. If toxic puppies don’t do it I don’t know what will. And if they can’t see how much you want to awkwardly meet people after this, then they aren’t worth the groveling.
    One Funny Motha recently posted..Hit the Road JackMy Profile

  8. Pingback: I Am An Idiot, Issue 3 -- Hands off! |

  9. Good luck! I’ma pass on the puppy though. Georgia is great in October (the humidity has usually gone by then) and the NonCon is destined to be fantastic.
    Arnebya recently posted..The Threeness That is Now YouMy Profile

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