A Dream Divorce

| 3 Comments

Me: “Hey Mike, you know when you have those dreams that feel so real that you’re convinced they’re actually happening? I had an awful one last night. I dreamed we were getting divorced and it felt so real!”

Mike: “Wow! You must have done something truly terrible.”

Me:  “Shut up, Mike. I didn’t do anything. I was just being me and all of a sudden you were like, ‘I’ve actually been meaning to do this for a while…'”

Mike: “Man. Whatever you did must have been really bad.”

Me: “Shut up, Mike! It was awful! The worst part was that you had actually filed all of the paperwork three months ago but kept putting off telling me until now!”

Mike: “Jeez! What did you do, Meredith?!”

Me: “NOTHING! I DID NOTHING! Oh, but you know what’s really awful?  I was thinking about how totally devestated I was, how surprised and sad our families would be, what I was going to tell my friends…and the LAST thing I thought before I woke up was: ‘Oh my god. What about the kids?!’ The LAST thing I thought about in our dream divorce was our dream children.”

Mike: “And you wonder why dream me divorced you?”

Divorce ME, you dream time motherfucker? I'm gonna conjure up a dream  punch to your dream balls. (image via sxc)

Divorce ME, you dream time motherfucker?!  Oh it’s on…DREAM STYLE.   (Image via sxc)

Author: Meredith Bland

Meredith likes to write the funny at her blog, Pile of Babies (http://www.pileofbabies.com).

3 Comments

  1. I hate the divorce dream. It brings paranoia to a whole new level.
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  2. That’s a weird dream. As the saying says, dreams are meant the opposite in the reality.

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