Greatest Hits

My most popular blog posts (i.e. My mom really liked them):

The baby blues knock me on my ass

I re-visit the Sound of Music and try to take that nun down a peg

Little hand

Your threats do not scare me, small person

I am the Anti-Craft

Feline sexual predators. Why aren’t we talking about this?

Birth plan

Things I have done as a parent while on the toilet

That is not why I brought you to the playground

So we dug up a dead dog the other day…

If that dog could talk, he’d probably rape you

Pile of Sky Mall

Drunk or 4-years-old?

Underpants — The haikus

Preschooler Trivia: Can You Take The Heat?

Craft Wars: The Best Show On TV With Both Tori Spelling And Crafters

PSA: Having twins is not adorable, but thanks

7 fantastic sports discontinued from the summer olympics

I have seen a higher plane of gross, and it is bad….so, so bad

I think wine is pretentious. THERE. I SAID IT.

I respond to spam

Fun with city nicknames

Take two of these and never call me again

Medieval Slang

I Rewrite Rejection Letters

Who the hell are you, one person asked. So I answered.

Three truths and a lie about having twins

The parenting put down that needs to stop

I’m gonna carve this fruit into NO. School lunches, the lazy way

Guide me, Internet. I need treat advice.

Say what now? I have a weird experience at Target.

Cougar attacks. No, the other kind.

If I were a state, I would be awesome.

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