So…I guess I’M the dummy here?

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What the heck, Mom? How do you not get this? -1 + 1 is 2. Come on. Think about it.

This is the face I make when my mother answers a question. (image via photo pin)

Son: “Mom, is ‘daw’ a word?”

Me: “No.”

Son: “‘Daw’?”

Me: “Yeah…no. Daw isn’t a word.”

Son: “No Mom, I said ‘DAW!'”

Me: “Yes, I heard you. Daw. D-a-w. Not a word.”

Daughter: “No Mom, he means d-a-E-w.”

Me: “Oh, d-a-E-w? Nope. Still not a word.”

Son: (giving up) “Oh never mind, Mom.”

Sometimes answering these kids’ questions makes me feel like someone’s 100-year-old grandmother being offered a slice of pie by her teenaged granddaughter.

GD: “Grandma, do you want pie?”

GM: “Eh?”

GD: “I SAID, DO YOU WANT PIE.”

GM: “Yes. It looks like rain.”

GD: “NO. I SAID PIE! PIE! LIKE, TO EAT.”

GM: “Oh, I don’t think there’ll be much heat.”

GD: “Goddamnit, Grandma.”

GM: “Fine. Just don’t be a whore like your mother.”

GD: “WHAT?!”

GM: “I said, ‘where in the world is your mother?'”

Author: admin

Meredith likes to write the funny at her blog, Pile of Babies (http://www.pileofbabies.com).

4 Comments

  1. HA! That reminds me of one of my dad’s favorite jokes! Three little old ladies sitting on a park bench. The first one says “My it’s windy today!” The second says “No, I don’t think its Wednesday, I believe it’s Thursday” The third says “Thirsty? Me too! Let’s all go have a drink!”

  2. Grandma’s conversation made me spit my drink on my computer – thank you ;) no really, thanks for the laugh!

  3. I have conversations like this all the time with my kids. It usually ends when my child hits her forehead and rolls her eyes while saying “You have no idea what I’m talking about”. um yeah exactly child, do you have any idea what your talking about?

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