I Am An Idiot, Issue 3 — Hands off!

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A few weeks ago, Mike told me this story, about a Chinese man who blew his hands off while making a bomb to go “blast fishing” with (the only reason this sort of thing has not happened to Mike, by the way, is that he doesn’t have time to go fishing). So this man, who could not afford prosthetic arms, MADE HIS OWN out of scrap metal.

BAD. ASS.

Mike: “Isn’t that cool?! He made them on his own! It took him 8 years!”

Me: “Wow! Huh — 8 years?! Why did it take 8 years?”

Mike: “…………Because he didn’t have any HANDS, Meredith.”

Me: “Oh yeaaaaaaaah…….”

Mike: “I suppose if he’d had the foresight to start this project BEFORE he blew his hands off, it wouldn’t have taken quite so long.”

Me: “Yeah no, I get it. I’m an asshole.”

 

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Weekly Wrap Up!

Mamapedia: My tale of shorts versus flip flops is featured today!!

Klat.com: I write about Undecided Voters and Gallows Humor.

Imperfect Parent: Did you know that every time you click on one of my articles at Imperfect Parent, an angel gets its wings? and I make about 1/8th of penny? But, you know, do it for the angels. Disclaimer — there are some disturbing stories on this site. You might not want to be sober.

Reckless Video: Read my review of Snow White and The Huntsman!

TWINS Magazine published my humor piece titled, “Down With A Sickness” in their August/September issue! You can read it here on page 35!

Tis the season to start begging fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!:

  1. BloggerIdol — So there’s this contest called Blogger Idol, where you apply for a chance to be part of the Top 13 bloggers who then write a post every week which gets voted on by the public and a panel of judges. Every week, someone gets eliminated until there is only one survivor — I mean, winner. And I want in. I’ve applied, so if you have a chance you can head over to their Facebook page and tell them how awesome I am. The top 13 will be announced next Thursday (the 20th).
  2. Aiming Low Non-Conference – Simply Sassy Media is giving away two spots for the Aiming Low Non-Conference, which looks like an enormous hoot and a gigantic holler. I have never been to a blogging conference. I want in, people. My application post is here. The two winners will be announced on Friday the 21st!

Author: Meredith Bland

Meredith likes to write the funny at her blog, Pile of Babies (http://www.pileofbabies.com).

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