This is a conversation I had with my mother while driving to pick up my sister from the airport, the week of Thanksgiving.

Me: “I hope we don’t get there too early.”

Mom: “Oh, we’ll just circle around the airport.”

Me: “That’s the thing. You CAN’T just circle around at Sea-Tac. There’s no way to do it.”

Mom: “What do you mean?”

Me: “I mean there’s no loop. You have to get back on the freeway, get off at the mall, turn around, and then come back. It takes, like 20 minutes. It’s a pain in the ass.”

Mom: “Meredith, you most certainly CAN circle around. I’ve done it before.”

Me: “Mom, I promise you. I’ve lived here for 10 years. You can’t do it.”

Mom: “Look — what does that exit sign say?”

Me: “It says, ‘Terminal parking.’”

Mom: “Right.”

Me: “But I don’t want to park at the terminal. I want to go back to the airport.”

Mom: “Yes. That says ‘Terminal…SPACE….Parking.’”

Me: “………….You mean that instead of saying ‘exit here for terminal parking,’ it says, ‘exit here for terminal PAUSE parking?’”

Mom: “Yes.”

Me: “Are you fucking kidding me? For 10 years I’ve been driving 20 minutes out of my way because I was looking for proper punctuation?”

Mom: (giggling)

Me: “Damnit.”