(Sorry for the double post today. I was going to publish this tomorrow, but I accidentally clicked PUBLISH instead of PREVIEW while I was editing. Dammit, WordPress! Give a dummy a chance!)
It came. IT FINALLY CAME!
Amy from Nature Box told me she was going to pack it herself, and would try to find things I could make vagina jokes about. Did she succeed? Is Nature Box any good? Let’s find out…
My kids and I couldn’t wait to tear into this box. (I realize that there is nothing I can say without everyone thinking “vagina” now, which makes writing this post about 10 million times more awesome.) We tried each snack one by one, and gave our opinions. Please keep in mind that my daughter never likes anything, and my son usually likes everything, so their votes should be discounted.
1. Big Island Pineapple
SHE REMEMBERED!!!! I freaking love these things. Also, if you bite them in half, they make excellent mustaches.
Vagina Joke-ability: High. They’re rings, people. Look at them.
2. Cherry Ganache Granola
Pretty darn good, you guys. I had some with milk and loved it, but immediately regretted not mixing it with some yogurt. That would be extra good.
Meg: I don’t eat cherries.
Mom: Yum, but with regrets.
Vagina Joke-ability: High. Ganache could be a fancy word for vagina, as in, “Theodora Windsor Peabody, cover your ganache immediately!” It could also be a shaving style, as in “Would you like a brazilian, landing strip, or ganache today?” I picture it looking like a Steve Harvey muffstache.
3. Blueberry Nom Noms
I love the name Nom Nom. It makes me happy. However: even though these are called cookies, and even though they have chocolate chips in them, these are not cookies. When you bite into these, you could try to trick yourself into thinking they are cookies, but deep down you know you’re eating something healthy. And we all know what healthy cookies taste like — not cookies.
Vagina Jokeability: Medium. I could go there, but it makes me uncomfortable. You cross the line, Nom Noms.
These grew on me. On Day 1 I said, “Not so much, thank you!” On Day 2 I said, “Eh.” And on Day 3, I said, “These are not so bad!”
Mom: Delayed gratification.
Vagina Joke-ability: Medium/high. My friend Emily says that pears are very vagina-reminiscent. I agree — especially dried pears. Most women have dealt with the shame and inconvenience of a dry pear at some point or another.
5. Sweet Blueberry Almonds
THIS. THIS was my drug of choice. I have never had anything like it! They’re like sweet, powdered, blueberry-flavored almonds, and they are the bomb.
Meg: Nothing shall ever please me.
Mom: GIVE ME THE BAG.
Vagina Joke-ability: Low. Don’t you dare say anything about my Sweet Blueberry Almonds. These things are no joke.
FINAL THOUGHTS/MY REVIEW:
Is Nature Box worth it? Yes and no. Depends on your expectations. If you’re hoping for a big ol’ box of snacks that you can dip into all month long, you’re going to be disappointed. The bags are small, though they say there are about 4 servings per bags. Split that among three or four people, two of whom are growing children, and you can go through a bag in 10 minutes.
They do offer different sizes of boxes, though. My box was the smallest they have, with 5 bags. Those go for $19.95 a month. The next size up has 10 bags and is their most popular (they say it’s good for 4-5 people.) That one is $29.95 a month. And the biggest box has 20 bags, is meant for 8-10 people, and is $49.95 a month.
Here’s what I liked: you can pick which snacks you get every month, and they are in super-convenient resealable bags. So, as someone who wants to have healthy snacks available for her kids, I love them. I can just throw these in my traveling snack bag, and know that I have an option for my kids that isn’t Goldfish, for once.
Am I going to subscribe? I might. I am considering trying it for 6 month to a year and seeing if it ends up being worth the money. After all, how much do I spend on snacks that aren’t so healthy for my kids each month? I refuse to figure it out, but I’m sure it’s many dollars. Bottom line — I think it’s worth a trial run.
And thank you to Nature Box for having such a good sense of humor about all of this!!! You guys can pack my medium-sized box any time.