Date night. The night you’re supposed to reconnect with your spouse. The night you talk about who dogs would be if they were people. Or maybe that’s just me and Mike.
We were leaving a restaurant when we walked by a guy with a Bull Terrior. Which got us thinking. And then I got blogging. And it was all downhill from there.
Here are 10 dog breeds, and who they would be if they were people.
1. The Bull Terrior
If the Bull Terrior was a person, he would be the guy lifting weights in the prison yard who would later rape you in the shower.
2. The Afghan Hound
If the Afghan Hound was a person, she would be the 24-year-old your Dad remarried after he left your Mom. Also, she would like you to call her Bethanie.
3. The Basset Hound
If the Basset Hound was a person, he would be that dude that wants you to be prepared for the next Great Depression and asks if you have a six month supply of water in your home for when the sun burns out. Side note: the Basset Hound is my mother.
4. The Boxer
If the boxer were a person, he’d be loud talking at a bar about how much your team sucks and giving you financial advice. Do not take his financial advice.
5. The Cavalier King Charles Spaniel
If the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel was a person, she’d be that friend you love dearly because she’s super sweet but she doesn’t know who the Vice President is and isn’t convinced that Estelle Getty is really dead.
6. The Chinese Crested
If the Chinese Crested were a person, she’d be the lead singer of an all girl group from Japan.
7. The French Bulldog
If the French Bulldog was a person, he would talk little but judge much. By the way, he has never had that particular issue but if he did he’d have a much better way of dealing with it.
8. The Komondor
If the Komondor was a person, he would be that Dad who tries to keep up with his kids at the park even though he may pass out at any second. Often heard saying, “Hey guys!! (pant pant) Wait up!! (pant) Daddy’s coming!!”
9. The Pekinese
If the Pekinese was a person, he’d be that old man in your neighborhood who isn’t totally with it, but he’ll say whatever he wants to because he survived the war, dammit.
If the Xoloitzcuintli was a person, he would spend a lot of time asking people to just call him Steve.