Just a parenting rant. And a $50 gift card giveaway! WOO HOO!

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Aw. Look at how not talking they are.photo credit: emrank via photopin cc

Aw. Look at how not talking they are. (photo credit: emrank via photopin cc)

I have a complaint. I tried to take it to my kids, but they kindly referred me to the department of “Mommy Will You Cut Up This Peach For Me.”

This is something that has been going on since the kids learned how to speak, and I find it baffling. BAFFLING, I SAY.

Whenever I turn off the car and and get ready to open the door and step out, one of them starts a story. STARTS a story. as in, “once upon a time” or “let’s begin at the beginning.”

Without fail, I’ll unbuckle my seatbelt and someone will go, “Hey Mommy, I want to tell you about the funnest thing we did in school today. We were at recess…” and away they go. Are they expecting me to buckle back in and grab onto my seat for this wild ride of story they are about to tell me? Could they not wait until everyone has exited the vehicle? Because I ask them that three to four times a week: “Okay, why don’t you wait till we all get out of the car?” Three to four times a week. For years. I’m stumped.

By the way, this also works when going in the opposite direction. I open the car door so that they can get in, and as they are settling in to their car seats, someone is bound to say, “Mom, do you wanna know my favorite thing about Skylanders?” DO I?!!! But please, can I get in the goddamn car first?

It’s making me slightly nuts.

It’s not unlike that little voice that comes into your head seconds before you about to fall into a deep, blissful sleep.

Voice: “Ahem. Excuse me? I see that you’re just about to drift off but I was wondering if we could take a quick look back at that time summer camp when you sat down in the middle of your cabin and peed all over the floor? No? Then how about the next year when you did the same thing at a different camp in the middle of your platform tent? Come on. This is going to be great.”

I don’t have anything particularly interesting to say about this. I just find it really, really annoying and my dog doesn’t want to hear it anymore.

***

But enough of my whining — let’s get to the free stuff! A very nice person named Bobby contacted me and asked if I would do a giveaway to my readers for a $50 gift card. And I said, “Hm. Gift card for what?” And they said, “How about, any of THIS!” Turns out that their website, Select Aware, offers coupon codes and deals for oh my god almost everything. It is kind of a dream for a cheap bastard like myself (I started doing Just For U coupons at Safeway and I have become a woman obsessed. This does not bode well for the people who will be standing in line behind me when I am 80.)

“Sorry, Meredith. I am not convinced.” Oh NO?! Well take a look at this. These are just a few of the MANY places you can choose from for your gift card:

  • A Pea In The Pod
  • Barnes & Noble
  • 3BallsGolf (ha)
  • The Container Store
  • Chocolate.com (YES)
  • Ferret.com (YES YES YES)
  • Hanna Andersson
  • L’Occitane

And that is just a random few I picked out. And I only got through the letter L. What I’m saying is, there’s some good shit here.

So here’s the deal. I am doing a Rafflecopter for this. Your options for entry are below. The giveaway will be open for two weeks, closing on JUNE 19TH. So enter your hearts out until then. On the 19th a winner will be randomly selected and I will announce it on the blog.

Wheeeeeeeeeee, I enjoy giving people free stuff!

Good luck!

 a Rafflecopter giveaway

Author: admin

Meredith likes to write the funny at her blog, Pile of Babies (http://www.pileofbabies.com).

2 Comments

  1. Our big issue is the Pavlovian response we’ve somehow burned into our son. Invariably, food is set in front of him and that signals that he must NOW go to the bathroom. Bowl of cereal in the morning… gotta go pee. Busy restaurant that we’ve asked multiple times if he has to go, waited at least fifteen minutes for ordering and such… plate hits the table, gotta go. Which also invariably entails me scooting my ass up and out of the bench a few times. We’ve tried draining him before hand, but NO. He’s like our dog. Gotta save a little bit just for those important moments.

  2. Do kids have any other department besides “Mom can you cut me a peach?” Because I an pretty sure that is where all my requests get referred to. And my oldest can even cut a peach for herself.

    Funny stuff!
    Kelly recently posted..Step Off, Carol Brady: What Alice the Housekeeper Taught Me About ParentingMy Profile

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