Man Versus Goat in the Octagaaaaaaaaaan

| 6 Comments

Me: “Do you remember the story of that guy who got killed by a wild goat in one of our parks last year?”

Mike: “I could take a goat.”

Me: “Hm…I don’t know, honey. Have you seen them at the zoo? They’re pretty big and surprisingly muscular.”

Mike: “Meredith, I would kick a goat’s ass.”

Me: “Oh yeah, yeah I know…but what if it was up on its hind legs? It would be as big as you are.”

Mike: “On its hind legs? You mean, like a person? Like it’s over there sipping on a latte and then we just get into it?”

Me: “Okay. Yeah. Keep laughing. You who isn’t laughing, Mike? Everyone who has ever been killed by a goat.”

Mike: “I don’t even understand why we are still having this conversation.”

Me: “You know what? You get on the internet and look up ‘goat kills person’ and I’ll bet you will find some horrible stuff.”

Mike: “I would grab a goat by its goat horns and kick it in its goat balls.”

Me: (sigh) “I just think you might be underestimating goats, Mike. And that is what will lead to your downfall.”

Ready to attack. (Image via crosscut.com)

Ready to attack. (Image via crosscut.com)

FYI, don’t actually search for “goat kills person.” Half the links are to the story of that poor hiker who was killed in Olympic National Forest, and the other half are about some dude who raped and killed a pygmy goat while high on bath salts.

He is never getting a job again.

 

 

“So it says here that you were convicted of a crime a few years ago. Can you tell me a little about that?”

“I raped and murdered a goat.”

“…We’ll call you.”

Author: admin

Meredith likes to write the funny at her blog, Pile of Babies (http://www.pileofbabies.com).

6 Comments

  1. This is just…wow! Are we married to the same person?
    Lily from It’s A Dome Life recently posted..Examining The Creative Mind: Kelly DebieMy Profile

  2. Never underestimate a goat. Or a cute unassuming deer. Or a “domestic” dog or housecat. Heck, not even a tick (lyme disease). Always stay alert. That is all.

    You are incredibly funny. Thank you for the smile you put on my face. I look better this way. :)

  3. Now I really need to look up “goat kills person”.
    There goes a sentence I never thought I would say!
    Alexandra recently posted..Good habits: introducing art to your kidsMy Profile

Leave a Reply

Required fields are marked *.


CommentLuv badge

%d bloggers like this: