My marriage: A Netflix portrait

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You can tell a lot about a person from their Netflix queue. You can tell even more about them by looking at their “Recently Watched” list.

For example, here’s mine:

Screen Shot 2013-11-12 at 12.29.56 PM

SMALL GROUP DISCUSSION:

As you can see, the list starts out with an episode of “Littlest Pet Shop.” That’s because I am a mother who enjoys quiet children. Then, you will notice a long list of “Scandal” episodes. This demonstrates classic TV binging behavior, previously exhibited with “Damages,” “Orange is the New Black,” and, during a particularly pastel phase, all seven seasons of “The Golden Girls.”

All in all, pretty normal.

Now here is my husband’s “Recently Watched” list:

Screen Shot 2013-11-12 at 12.30.24 PM

Okay. The first half is pretty good: you’ve got the kids’ stuff, you’ve got “Parks and Rec,” and you’ve got “Better Off Ted,” which right there is the sign of an extremely cultured man.

Then, things change.

“Bloodlust Zombies.” “Strippers Vs. Werewolves.” “Class of Nuke’Em High.”

As Mike’s wife, let me tell you what surprises me the most about those three selections: that he didn’t make me watch them with him. I have seen so…SO many bad movies because I love my husband. He is drawn to badness like my dog is to his neutered balls. I mean, the Conan movies alone made me come to peace with the fact that one day I will die, and the world will be dark and silent.

But I do have to say a word about “The FP.” If you have not seen this movie, STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING RIGHT NOW GET ON NETFLIX AND WATCH THIS MOVIE. It is about — and I am absolutely shitting you not a bit– a post-apocalyptic world where two rival gangs of white guys who are not at all able to pull off street slang, battle, AND I QUOTE, “…in the deadly arena of competitive dance-fight video game ‘Beat-Beat Revelation.’”

You guys. They play Dance Dance Revolution to the death.

In my wildest, Nyquil-induced dreams, I could never have come up with a movie this spectacular.

So for “The FP,” I am thankful. It is not something I ever would have seen without the crazy crap-lover who is that man of mine. And PS…

THIS.

THIS.

Author: admin

Meredith likes to write the funny at her blog, Pile of Babies (http://www.pileofbabies.com).

10 Comments

  1. Love it. This makes me think there should be some kind of app that lets you find people with like-minded queues. My husband would totally hang out with your husband.
    Liza Wyles recently posted..First Holiday Complaint of the Season!My Profile

  2. OH my God. I’m not sure I could have laughed any harder at this. I am a lot like you in that I just pick something and watch the hell out of it. I recently just finished watching Lost for the first time, and I’m pretty sure I made it through the entire 6 years worth of episodes in record time. And now I’m all kind of depressed because I have no more episodes to watch. But it sounds like I have my laundry-folding entertainment today in the form of post-apocolyptic Dance revolution.
    Kelly recently posted..Imagination Could Not Have Created a Better FriendMy Profile

  3. i’m cracking up and i don’t even need to see the movie!! that is good stuff!
    Ice Scream Mama recently posted..Sometimes, you just got to take a shotMy Profile

  4. OK, but real quick, I need to know: Strippers vs. werewolves… WHO WINS?
    When I Blink recently posted..7 Brutally Honest Personal ProductsMy Profile

  5. I recall seeing a movie where rival gang members dance at each other!! I don’t remember the name but they would meet in the barren concrete toilet under some bridge and dance at each other till the police came to break it up! HYSTERICAL! I think even West Side Story had more quasi violence in it. (and lotsa singing and dancing)

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