My body is set to “self-destruct”


I get a lot of 24 hour illnesses. I’m not sure why that is, but every once in a while my body throws up its’ hands and says “That’s it! I fucking quit!” Then I puke a lot and have a bad headache and feel like I am about to die for a whole day.

It is inconvenient and unpleasant. And it happened yesterday. Well, today, which is when I’m writing this. Right.

I woke up feeling fine, and within about half an hour I was puking. And pooping with urgency. This is a combo illness that I am all too familiar with.

I call it The Chinese Finger Trap.

Yup. That's about it. (image via

Yup. That’s about it. (image via

Correct me if I’m wrong, but this is the kind of thing that only happens to other people once every few years, right? Not every couple of months, like it does for me? Yeah. Something is wrong. It’s like I’m trying to expel some kind of evil.

Anyhoo, so this happened today. And of course, my son was sick too, so while I was able to drop my daughter off at school, I had to have my son home with me to witness the horror.

Every once in a while I’d be in the bathroom…getting rid of the demons…and Ben would call out, “Mom? I love you!” I’m pretty sure he wanted me to know that before what was obviously going to be the end of my life.

Till I hold you in my arms again, old friend... (image via sxc)

Till I hold you in my arms again, old friend… (image via sxc)

But, nope! Still here! And feeling much better, thank you.

For now.

Author: admin

Meredith likes to write the funny at her blog, Pile of Babies (


  1. To quote Emily Blunt in The Devil Wears Prada:

    “I’m only one stomach flu away from my goal weight.”

    Sorry you guys are sick!!

  2. That just sounds unpleasant. Migraines could be the culprit if you haven’t ruled that out.
    Tahlia B. recently posted..Suave Experience the Richness SweepstakesMy Profile

  3. Jesus H. Christ. I’m glad you’re feeling better. Are you sure it’s not food poisoning? Or some sort of allergy? I’ll put some popsicles in the mail for you right now. You should expect a very soggy package in a couple of days.
    Kathy V recently posted..Families In The LoopMy Profile

  4. “Pooping with urgency.” Awesome.
    Crazed in the Kitchen recently posted..Can Southern California Recover from this "Arctic Blast?"My Profile

  5. I too suffer from this kind of thing with an odd frequency. For a while I was blaming bad duck eggs (okay not “bad” but “allergic to or sensitive to”) because it happened more when I ate duck eggs. Now I’m still not sure. I’d like to think its food related as I notice it with more frequency when I eat certain things.

    Also- stumbled upon your blog from…somewhere and love it. It’s always fun to find another northwesterner. 🙂

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