Netflix for kids: Music for the mini masses.

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photo credit: Mike Baehr via photopin cc

It’s PERFECT. (photo credit: Mike Baehr via photopin cc)

I recently bought my kids their first CD players. This became an interesting story in two ways: first, because apparently I am incredibly old and behind the times. Here is the conversation I had with the young man at Target:

Me: “Hi, um, I’m having trouble finding a CD player for my kids? Could you point me in the right direction?”

Youngin': (blank look) “You mean, like a boom box?”

Me: “…No, not a boom box, just like a small little…thing. That plays CDs.”

Youngin': “Oh. Well, we don’t really have many of those. It’s mostly MP3s.”

Me: “Oh yeah, right. Those. Well, I just want a CD player.”

Youngin': “Okay. Well, let’s see what we’ve got. There’s one…I think that’s it.”

Honestly — no more CD players? Are we not doing that anymore? Harumph.

Kids. Lawn. Off.

So I bought two of the one CD player they had, and bought my daughter the Frozen CD, which she and every other little girl in her school are obsessed with. My son was really disappointed because we couldn’t find a CD that he would like. Here’s the second interesting part: turns out that there are only so many musical options for a six-year-old. And oddly, most of those options seem to be different versions of something called Kidz Bop, which, I discovered, are CDs of kids singing pop songs like “Single Ladies.” I don’t get it.

Anyway, we started talking about which movies have soundtracks and which ones don’t. Unfortunately for my boy, none of the movies or shows he loves have soundtracks. There was much frustration and disappointment — Legos? Hero Factory? Transformers? NADA. Not a Celine Dion or Adele Dazeem to be seen.

So when this month’s Netflix Stream Team theme was “High School Musical,” I was psyched. What perfect timing. It’s like they’re in my heart, the people at Netflix. They know what I need.

COCAINE!

COCAINE!

This was the list for big kids:

1. Shrek the Musical

2. High School Musical

3. Grease

4. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

5. Footloose

6. The Phantom of the Opera

7. Camp Rock

I’ve never seen High School Musical, with its coke-snorting homeless-man-fighting star. I decided my kids could miss it this time, especially since they still aren’t interested in shows that feature real people instead of cartoons. I was seriously tempted by Footloose, but this is Netflix for kids, not Netflix for Nostalgic Moms. So we moved on to the next list.

Here was the list for little kids:

1. Mulan

2. Pocahontas

3. The Prince of Egypt

4. Leap Frog: Numberland

5. Rock-A-Doodle

The Disney version.

The Disney version. That’s a whole lot of wind.

There were — of course — arguments over what to watch. One kid wanted The Prince of Egypt, the other wanted Number Land, Mom said they had to agree in something or there would be no movie, so they decided on Pocahontas.

I was pleasantly surprised by the movie, I have to say. Although, at one point the kids asked me if this was a real story and I said, “…Sort of? I mean, it’s based on a real woman, and some of the stuff really happened, but a lot of the details are pretend.” Also, genocide. But I’ll save that for when they’re older and it’s time to snuff out what’s left of their innocence.

HURRAY, PARENTING!

And it does have a heck of a soundtrack: Vanessa Williams AND Mel Gibson?! SINGING? Come on, son, it’s time to go to the record store. I mean…the MP3…shack? Emporium? Five and dime?

*sigh*

Old.

Author: Meredith Bland

Meredith likes to write the funny at her blog, Pile of Babies (http://www.pileofbabies.com).

3 Comments

  1. Phineas and Ferb is a great source of fun, tolerable music for that age group. Time to whip out the computer and see if you can burn a CD.

    Fun stuff. Also, I’d rather take a bath in rotting meat followed by a tough mudder naked in the African savannah than listen to Kids Bop.

  2. They Might Be Giants have great cds for kids. My 5 1/2 year old loves them.

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