A report, two weeks into summer vacation

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Image via freeimages.com

Image via freeimages.com

I hate summer.

Hate hate hate it.

I have hated it for as long as I can remember for two reasons: first, I hate small clothes. And, I must add, the feeling is reciprocated. Second, I hate heat and humidity. In my opinion, it is way preferable to be freezing cold, when all I have to do is put on layers and jog in place to warm myself up, than to experience the kind of heat I did years ago during my one and only visit to Key West, Florida. That’s the kind of heat where you walk outside and soak through your clothes before the door has fully closed behind you. In that kind of heat, there are only so many layers you can take off before you are just sitting there sad and miserable in your own damp.

So you can imagine how shocked I am by the fact that I am LOVING this summer. LOVING. IT. Now, have we had any temperatures above 71 degrees so far? No, because Seattle is the finest city on the planet. Have my kids been out of school for less than two weeks? Why, yes…why do you ask?

But I am putting my cynicism aside for a bit and enjoying the hell out of how relaxing it is not to have my kids in school. If I heard myself say that sentence in August, right before my kids started full-day kindergarten, I would have turned the pointy side of my ring around and slapped myself across the face. I had NO IDEA how stressful it would be to keep kids moving through a school year. Not to mention that I had twins who were in separate classes and therefore had two different sets of expectations, schedules, and projects. There was a whole lot of, “Oh shit! Today is wacky hair day AND we were supposed to bring our library books?! FUUUUUUUUUUCK.”

So far I am finding the lack of schedules and lunches and share days way more relaxing than I ever could have dreamed. We have been having a blast so far…except for the part where two kids who have not spent all of their time together for nine months suddenly start spending all of their time together and discover that they cannot wait to learn all new ways to kill each other now that they have been reunited.

Damn you to hell, Spiderman.

Damn you to hell, Spiderman.

Also, I am already plotting a fire-filled act of vengeance against that goddamn ice cream truck that seems to follow us everywhere we go. Only a week into summer and it’s already got me saying “oh shit” when I hear it coming. Just you wait till the end of summer, Ice Cream Man. First I am going put you at a table with a dozen of those horrible spider man cones. Then, I will take away all of your napkins and wet wipes. Then, I will remove all of the ice cream sandwiches from your truck and put them in a cooler…as hostages, of course. THEN, I will set your truck on fire.

But till that time, this summer is going to be filled with some happy happy kick-ass times. Until, of course, we reach mid-August, when I will be handing my kids the remote and going back to bed.

Author: Meredith Bland

Meredith likes to write the funny at her blog, Pile of Babies (http://www.pileofbabies.com).

8 Comments

  1. Summers up there can be great. Florida SUCKS. As well as the entire eastern seaboard and as well as the Midwest until you reach the grand ole Mississippi. After Ole Miss you get less humidity, less skeeters and a lot of awesome mountains. We’ve been swimming every goddamned day since they opened our pool in April.
    This is our last no school summer. Then we are off and I’m a tad freaked out. And your post kinda freaked me out a tad more.
    Oh and it is now my mission to find you the link to the history behind the ice cream truck song. It’s gonna make you go Hmmm? It is rather nefarious and upsetting.

  2. Love your blog! As a mother of 2 sets of twins (ages 10 and 7), you keep me laughing and I can totally relate!

  3. haha– tell the kids that when the ice cream truck plays music, it means they’re out of ice cream. :-)

  4. I’m in agreement Meredith. I’m so glad we can sleep in a little and not worry about last minute projects and paperwork and homework and on and on. Of course that gets replaced with the fetching of 50 million snacks and drinks throughout the day, but for now, I’ll take it. But the heat and humidity…oh lordy! Today it’s 90 degrees, the A/C is a pumpin’ and the pugs are still on the floor panting. I might join them. ;)
    Linda recently posted..Celebrity Worship or Whoreship?My Profile

  5. The solution to the ice cream truck situation is easy. It plays music when it is OUT of ice cream. Everyone knows that. Everyone.

    This isn’t my first rodeo.

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