There are a lot of things in this world that I just don’t give a damn about. Or things that kinda suck but, you know, eh. I don’t have the kind of time or energy needed to complain about them. Among those things are airline baggage fees. Do I like them? No, I do not. But you know what I do like? Flying somewhere in four hours that it would take me two days to drive to. The airlines have those fees because they need to make money. To stay in business. And as someone who is pro-airline travel, I am willing to deal with it.
There are people out there, however, who really, REALLY want to stick it to The Man. Like, really a lot. So much so, that a schmuck like me thinks, “There has to be something else that you can put these hours of sinister plotting towards. Make a new kind of sandwich. Create a squirrel-dog hybrid that answers only to ‘Kevin.’ But don’t devise ridiculous ways to avoid airline fees for no other reason that to give the airlines a giant middle finger. Use your powers for awesome. Please.”
The other day, my brother-in-law sent me a link to a website called, “Carryology: Exploring Better Ways to Carry.” They posted about a product called, “wearable luggage.” Wearable. Luggage.
I need to see someone waddling through the airport in one of these before I die. I need it. Oh sure, they’ll be red-faced, sweaty, and grunting, but they’ll also be $25 richer. I need to be behind them in security when they are asked for their photo id but can’t find it and start pulling toothbrushes, overalls, mittens, and Power Bars out of their big ol’ ridiculous pockets.
I would weep with joy. And then Kevin and I would go have a sandwich made from astronaut ice cream and cheese.