What’s a Blooty tree? Come on in…

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Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while might remember when I spent a few months doing recaps of a magnificent show called “Craft Wars.” Hosted by the one and only Tori Spelling, Craft Wars pitted crafters from around the country against each other in a high stakes craft-to-the-death.

The very first show I recapped was won by a woman named Andrea Currie — or, as I referred to her on the blog, “sweet, sweet Andrea.” Well, imagine my concern when I received an e-mail a week later from the woman herself, who signed it, “Sweet, Sweet Andrea.”

*GULP*

Luckily, she turned out to have an awesome sense of humor about her time on the show — as did all of the Craft Wars contestants I had contact with. They’re a strange and funny bunch, those crafters.

Fast-forward to a couple of months ago. I got an e-mail from Andrea asking me if I would be interested in participating in a Rainbow-tastic Blog Hop.

“Rainbow-tastic Blog Hop?” I said. “YOU HAVE MY  FULL ATTENTION.”

Turns out, Andrea has launched a Kickstarter campaign to start a line of adorable, squishy, colorful little Paint Chip Pals. She invited me to join in by making a craft inspired by one of the Paint Chip Pals and then blogging about it.

Now, we all know that I am NOT  a crafter. Andrea knows this too. Which is why she sent me step-by-step instructions on how to make my very own pom pom tree with the understanding that it might turn out to be a nightmare.

I decided to use Blooty as my inspiration, because of his sassy hair. He’s like a little blue Elvis, singing, “Don’t You Step On My Bloot Suede Shoes.” Following the wonderful directions Andrea sent me on how to make pom poms by hand, and a picture of what the hell a pom pom tree was supposed to look like, I got to work on Sunday night. It seemed so easy that I planned to have the tree and post done and ready to go by Monday morning.

That did not happen.

Here is my experience making a pom pom tree, and what I learned along the way:

SUNDAY NIGHT

Step one: Prepare

Buy needed materials in a foreign land named, “Joanne’s.” Feel like a goddamn hero for finding every single thing on the list.

Already a winner.

Review the simple and straightforward directions.

Three steps? No problem.

Step Two: Humiliation

As I sat down to get started, I showed my husband the pile of yarn I bought and asked if it counted as a “skein.” He informed me that not only was I mispronouncing “skein,” but that I was also pulling the yarn from the wrong end of it.

I began to worry.

Step Three: The First Attempt

Uh-oh.

Grade = F-

Step Four: Second Attempt, First Lesson

I successfully made my first pom pom. There was joy, and then sadness as I realized I had no idea how many times I had wrapped the yarn the first time, so I had no clue how to make the second one the same size. Measure twice, cut once — that shit is true.

Step Five: Take a Break

Farmville keeps the mind relaxed and limber.

Growing crops, motherfuckers.

Step Six: A Lesson In Time Management

Three pom poms completed in a little over an hour. Ooooooooh shit.

Step Seven: E-mail Andrea For An Extension

“Dear Andrea, I may have slightly under-estimated the time needed to complete my pom pom tree…”

MONDAY NIGHT

Agony. Pain. Worry.

That does not look like the example.

TUESDAY NIGHT

FINISHED. And with a whole new respect for pom pom-making and hot glue strings.

I did holiday staging and everything. It adds nothing.

There it is: my Blooty-inspired pom pom tree!

It looks a great deal less cute then I imagined. My husband was a little less charitable, describing it as “a muppet with mange,” and, “what it looks like when Grover takes a dump.” But I’ll tell you what — I had fun doing it! No for serious, I did. Except for the sore scissor fingers. I have never used scissors enough to know that you could get sore fingers from them. But it is REAL. I almost had to tape up like Muhammad Ali just to finish this thing.

Anyway — I might not be tough enough to craft, but Miss Andrea certainly is! Check out the Paint Chip Pals today, donate to the Kickstarter campaign, AND, if you comment on any of the blogs involved in the blog hop you are entered to win a FREE Paint Chip Pal!! HUZZAH!

 

Author: Meredith Bland

Meredith likes to write the funny at her blog, Pile of Babies (http://www.pileofbabies.com).

9 Comments

  1. Um — freakin’ hilarious! This is exactly how it would have happened if I had done the craft — only without the success at the end. Actually, I imagine I wouldn’t have made it beyond the pom pom part — so great work!
    Shannon recently posted..Why Aren’t Kids Scared of Santa?My Profile

  2. Your pom-pom tree looks much better than what I could ave produced. It looks neat and tree like!! lol. Mine would be… something else. I can only handle pencils, and photoshop. :)

  3. I think your tree came out great! I would be honored to win it and would give it a place of honor. That was nice of you to help my friend sweet sweet Andrea. :-)
    Eileen Hull recently posted..All Things Altered- Upcycled ShelfMy Profile

  4. Hey, don’t knock your skills. This is 100x better than anything I could produce with yarn and glue. I think it could have a variety of uses:
    - It could be a cat toy.
    - When stuck on the end of a stick, it could be used to dust things up high, like ceiling corners.
    - You could bobbypin it to your head at a jaunty angle and wear it with a British sense of whimsy.
    When I Blink recently posted..Writers Do It In ParenthesesMy Profile

  5. I think you did a great job – with an ombre effect and everything! Grover would be very proud ;-)
    Lisa Fulmer recently posted..My new "command central" notebookMy Profile

  6. Awsome job add some blue lights and a Blue star, giggle. I am so Glad Andrea can make you get your craft on. Hugs from Ohio the heart of it all.

  7. that is just the cutest ice cream cone warmer i’ve ever seen. bless you, nice crafty lady, i’ll take one in chocolate brown…
    alisa recently posted..If you stop trying to touch my boobs, I’ll give you a cookie.My Profile

  8. Your tree is awesome! Having a grouping of a few of them would make a great centerpiece.

  9. Yes! ” “Dear Andrea, I may have slightly under-estimated the time needed to complete my pom pom tree…” ”
    That’s how I feel with some of my crafts too! And making pompoms is a little bit hectic. Especially if you don’t tie them tight enough, and then the little strings start trying to come out of the pompoms. :( Bummer.
    Crystal recently posted..Happy Holidays – Photo ChallengeMy Profile

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