When I sing, I sing in anger. Or fear. Or both.

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I have a habit of singing when I’m stressed. This typically happens when I am either afraid, or very, very angry.

Fear singing and anger singing are very different animals, however. For example, let’s say I am going for a walk. I find a nice, shady spot to sit and relax. I hear a buzzing sound, look up, and realize that a huge hornet’s nest is hanging from a branch right above me. The hornets are awake, and appear to be mobilizing. This is what I might start singing, to no apparent tune or melody:

“Holy shit there’s hornets up there,

they don’t look real square,

in fact they look pissed,

I best get my ass out of here before they kill me to death.”

Doesn’t rhyme? Has no rhythm? Doesn’t have to. It’s fear singing.

Now anger singing is much more melodic. I usually anger sing when I am moments from completely flipping my lid. Yesterday morning was an excellent example of this: both kids were having melt-downs before school. One because I wouldn’t let them have more juice, and the other because they didn’t want to wear underpants.

At one point, I had one child on either side of me, screaming and yelling and crying, mere inches away from my ears. And so, I broke into song.

“Sometimes I feel like a motherless child,

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child,

Sometimes I feel like a motherless child,

A long ways from home.”

Singing about how his kids won't stop stomping on his penis. Image via sxc

Singing about how his kids won’t stop stomping on his penis. Image via sxc

I tend to go “negro spiritual” when I am about to lose it (I also like “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot” and “There Is A Balm In Gilead.”) Bursting into song at the moment of losing it has the benefit of both a) stunning your children into momentary silence, and b) letting you pretend you aren’t yelling at them, because you’re not — you’re singing.

Give it a try! And please report back with both song choice and results.

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Author: admin

Meredith likes to write the funny at her blog, Pile of Babies (http://www.pileofbabies.com).

6 Comments

  1. Voting done :)

    This blog post makes me think of that episode of Buffy where everyone sang. That’s how I picture you now: slaying hornets and temper tantrums as you belt out random melody.
    Sarah recently posted..I Don’t Know About Princesses…and Other Girly ThingsMy Profile

  2. I had problems understanding how to vote…Anyone – help me maybe?

    You made me giggle again, I definitely didnt come here enough – now I will! :)
    Alexandra recently posted..LovePowerUp – free app for your family – reviewMy Profile

  3. Voted. Good luck – you’ll be sure to win best kids dentist! ;)
    Tahlia B. recently posted..My Allure Beauty BoxMy Profile

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